Sunday, February 22, 2009

Top Ten Ways To Avoid Catching Student's Germs, hence, wasting five days in bed!
10. Keep a box of disposible rubber gloves and face masks in desk drawer.
9. Teach students the Safety Kid's song, "Stay outside of My Space"
8. Follow the previous song's admonitions or receive White Slip.
7. Begin practice of 'bumping hips' to replace a 'high five' or 'hello hug'
6. Keep a fresh stack of phone passes on center of desk already filled-out so when ill child approaches desk, I can point to preprinted note and minimize virus-infected-air-filled exposure.
5. Visit Home Depot for construction-worker's utility apron. Fill it with can of Lysol, disinfectant wipes, hand sanitizer and sticky notes to post on offender's foreheads that state: 'Signs Of An Ill Child!'
4. Offer Free Homework passes to those who miss school and bring back a note stating that they were ill and thought it best not to infect others.
3. Threaten an F-for-the-day to anyone caught wiping their nose on their sleeve.
2. Place tip jar on desk with sign stating, 'Donations for Flu vaccination welcomed'
1. Purchase a webcam system hooked up to each student's home so that I can remain bacteria-free whilst I spew forth colossal amounts of information, and allow their parents to gain-back their well deserved role as overlords.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I'm supposed to be at my GT class, but I came home, to rest, because I started feeling sick about halfway through the day. Quite impressive, actually, since I haven't missed any days of work yet this year.
Funny, I finally sit down at my desk and try to finish out the day from that vantage point, as my legs and head really ache, and I'm thinking to myself, "Man, I could just put my head down and be asleep in a couple of minutes."
Then, I hurry home in order to lay down and I can't sleep because I'm worrying about all the stuff I should be doing.
Today, I wish my mommy were here to take care of me. She would bring me the 'hot water bottle', Lipton soup, and maybe a coloring book. Sometimes, growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Nick 'Tagged' Me

1. I am far too old to play tag.
2. I HATE my jaw, I wish it could accidentally break so I could get it fixed.
3. I have a reoccurring dream that I'm flying and whenever I try to land I can't seem to keep my feet on the ground. (Interpretation . . . . . anyone?)
4. I always wanted to be a professional singer and dancer. When I was four I sat next to our bathroom heater and pretended it was a beach bon fire and I was Annette Funicello.
5. I looooovvvveeee the ocean and wish I lived within walking distance.
6. I am fascinated by unusual words and try to find ways to use them.
7. I wish I was 3 inches taller.
8. I hate fish, deer meat and small game....probably because my dad would make me clean up the blood and guts after he gutted them.
9. I wish I'd moved back to Bend ten years ago.
10. I'm afraid that I will die alone.
11. I'm big-time jealous of Rachel and Lauryn's beauty.
12. I'm jealous of Nick's excellent writing skills and Devin's creative drawing skills.
13. I'm jealous of Daniel's brains and Tyler's willingness to undertake adventure.
14. I'm jealous of Lauryn's dancing skills and Rachel's tenacity.
15. I want to run for public office and become the first honest politician.
16. Sometimes I'm really baffled by student's behavior---then I meet their parents and remember that the fruit doesn't fall too far from the tree.
17. I want to rid the world of mosquitos, flies, and lawn mushrooms.
18. I HATE the way our public school system is run.
19. I want to swim the English Channel or some channel that's not too cold.
20. I want someone to fall head-over-hills madly in love with me (I know who he is, but I'm too chicken to do anything about it.)
21. I want my body to be in the same shape as it was 20 years ago.
22. I want to travel to Scotland and England.
23. I want to travel to a third-world country and help set up a school.
24. I'd like to open an orphanage/school/farm/selfsufficiency home where children could be loved and learn how to become whole.
25. I am anxious to meet the Savior.

Now what? Am I supposed to say, 'tag you're it' to someone? If so, then Rachel, you're it!!!